How do I know you're only the first?
Because I rarely don't think of you. I find myself crying over you. Night after night I cry for all the things I can't have. Just you. It hurts when I think of you. It hurts because the joy I feel when I think of you, I can't have it. It hurts and it burns me! The lies I tell myself seem to work for the day, and then I remember the truth and cry more. I cry for you. Why do I find you a need? Why do I desire your presence everywhere I go! Why do I love you so much? And why do I feel that my love for you had become so vast, that it is so hard to think you could love me nearly as much. It becomes so hard to think you even like me. And it hurts! It hurts so much! I sometimes want the pain to stop. And all I think about is letting you be. But the mere thought of it hurts even worse! Doing it would be everlasting hell on me. So what can I do? NOTHING! I am stranded in a torturous love that I love so much! There's nothing to do, but keep loving you as much as I do. You are inescapable. That's why you're my first love.
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