The Crystal

Go ahead. I'm done. I am not going to cry. I am going to cry. I am a crystal and I get scratched. You've marked me. I can't go back to be the lucid purity I once was. You have sanded me down to the god particle. I am barely still as precious. That was mine! I was perfect. You took that from me. I believed all you told me. A safe box with velvet walls is what you promised me. You took me into a burnt cave with no lights. You can live here; you're a beast. I was precious. I need to leave. I need to find someone to help me go back. I miss myself. I didn't the corrosive aura you carried; I can't see it. Now go, if you ever meant well, put me back.

Birthday Wish

At eleven o'clock, my heart was on lock
At eleven o one, I stared at the one
At eleven o two, he stared at me too
At eleven o three, I saw you and me
At eleven o four, you opened a door
At eleven o five, you entered my life
At eleven o six, our lives came to mix
At eleven o seven, you showed me what's heaven
At eleven o eight, I learned to wait
At eleven o nine, you'd not only be mine.
At Twelve, at midnight, at the top of the hour
We come and find out: sometimes things are dour
Not all can end happy in a heaven or tale
Sometimes we can blunder and promises fail

But there's a rust, we can harbor, distill, grow and ply
A rust so fine, delicate, we can keep 'till we die
This is rust of goodness, health, and virtue
This old prime is love, and it happen between me and you
You're a rusty key, I hope you stay rusty
I hope you stay good
I hope you stay close to me

My rust is engraved, permanent, it's gold
It will stay on forever till I'm crusty and old
Old I wish we grew, and close very close to you
But for now At Twelve only, I'll say Happy Birthday, Boo.

Today I broke My Heart

Today I finally quit the first love of my life. I will no longer be in you, I will only love you.
As of right now, I know that every love to come will be only to forget. True love is only the first. The sun will burn tonight. There won't be shade or rain to fill me. There will only be the burning heat of the sun evaporating me, tear by tear.
My mission, then, begins again. I will once again step out and look for shade, for a dark, cozy room for my heart to lay in, to rest in, and live in. I will hope for someone to be my cloud and flood my pain.
I am taking the hard road- the one that does not kill instantly and effectively, but slowly and periodically inflicts torture. The hard road's efficiency, however, is considerably less. I took the challenge, for a chance to live. And if the saying is right, it will make me stronger.
Greg, I will always love you.

Damn it,

damn it, damn it!
It still hurts!

Why is it so hard to get over people?
Maybe it's the simple fact that you have no one better after you're rejected.
But what if there is no one better?
Will you miss this person your whole life and never get over him?
And if so, would total happiness be even possible anymore?
It's frightening.

When it is that you find the one, who will be the one, you should feel both fulfilled and scared.
Fulfilled because you've finally found the only missing piece to your everything.
And scared because it's always raining, and it can easily wither the piece away.

Escaping Reality...

... is a skill I have yet to master. But what is it? I find myself, once again, stabbing my life with unnecessary, fiery feelings of pain and your inflicted torture. If only I could find a way to avoid that. If only I could escape reality. It seems now, lacking a heart could be worth it, if these feelings could be blurred. Maybe those people whom we call "heartless," are evenly content with their lives. They escape what is to feel; they rebuke the world's command to care. So, it would make sense that we could live happier if we all agreed not to mind, not to care, not to feel. Would that make us happy? Or would it make us animals?

:)

When nothing seems to sooth the pain, we might as well just smile :)

Sacrifice

Sometimes we have to give up the people we love the most, to make them happy. Much like a mother cries when her child leaves for college, or when your most love is on the edge of his glory and you need to let go. When you love your best fiend so much, and you know he'll be someone else's now... when he said that he wants to be "only for" that girl. It's a pain o so dark to you, and the heart has no choice but to bury its self in a chasm of sorrow, but it must hide so deep so that he will not see it. For if he did see it, there would be no sacrifice and only cowardliness. But while the heart is silently hiding, it hopes that he will come back to make sure it's okay and discover the grave that the heart has fallen into. And when he doesn't comeback, the heart breaks.